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Saville Code = Wayne Keller

Leveled Lumber Limbo at the Patrick Cup International, Florida CX Season Opener Trike Mayem

Saville Code = Blog Post
Wayne Keller Cycling, General Mayhem, Ride Report Tags: , , , ,

Special Patrick Preemptive Prose intro:

“We are Sea Monkeys and cycling proves it. As a bike wheel spins, it is rotating around an imaginary horizontal line that goes through its center, creating a force in the direction of its spin. If you try to change the horizontal axis by falling left or right, the spin translates that push into a turning motion. Lean right – turn right, lean left. Sea Monkeys employ the same momentum and horizontal axis force to motor, turn direction and dance about while pursuing food and a mate. This hydro-dynamic motion with a purpose is called Cyclocrossing.”

The one who knows the Angle of Repose, the Grand Poobah of Pedaling Pandering…. The Branch Manger of Boisterous Bicycling, Patrick himself with the smoothest technique under the prostrate pulp.

We are Sea Monkeys and cycling proves it.

“The human cerebellum is responsible for coordination, motor control, balance, and much more. Your cerebellum is at the heart of any skill that becomes automatic with practice such as tying your shoe laces, driving a car, serving a tennis ball, typing on a keyboard… and riding a bike. The cerebellum is only 10 percent of brain volume but holds over 50 percent of your brain’s total neurons. The modern Sea Monkeys don’t have a brain to bother with, they breathe through their legs, their kidneys are in their head and they have hemoglobin just like us. Uncanny”.

The object is simple, two Elite Racers line up at the line, then PTAO WFO* towards the fallen foliage.  The trikes barely fit ….and when approaching at Ludicrous Speed, it appears that one would be deciduously decapitated.

“There are many stories about the origins of bicycle oriented Cyclocrossing. One is that European road racers in the early 1900’s would race each other to the next town over from them and that they were allowed to cut through farmers’ fields or over fences, or take any other shortcuts, in order to make it to the next town first. This was sometimes called “steeplechase” as the only visible landmark in the next town was often the steeple.”

Jay to the Hizzle, way out on a limb. His coworkers may have accused him of getting dressed in the dark. Gettin’ it done for the right reasons.

“Modern cyclocross usually consist of many laps over a short course, ending when a time limit is reached rather than after a specific number of laps or certain distance.
Most recent developments in contemporary Cyclocrossing have included the use of adult tricycles in short course configurations that involve no time limit and no laps per say. This new cyclocrossing is commonly referred to as Patrick Cup International and the goal of these three wheeling elite racers is the Glory of the Cup. Event racing may include sophisticated props like potatoes, giant scissors or a out of control downhill decent. But they will always include specific sock wear (check with the PCI handbook). The International elite racing community agrees on few things, but they have agreed that the Patrick Cup is the future of  bicycle racing.
We are Sea Monkeys and the Patrick Cup proves it.”

Probably the only guy there who the tree was afraid of, John W. Tenney, full tilt boogie at the leaning log.

Thanks so much for the always prolific Patrick for his palabric prose, we now resume normal rambling commentary now:

Biron Keefer, 70’s BMX messiah and punk rock soothsayer, grinnin” and spinnin’ away from fierce competition. He did the same to the Masters 55+ field earlier that day.

After the hurricane (Irma) delayed Central Florida cyclocross season opener weekend, when the stakes are being pulled, the coolers loaded, the winners and not-winners having laughs together (‘cuz they’re cool like that), after the podium pageantry, off in the far corner of the storm torn park a small group of Elite Racers are discreetly gathering. As discreetly as one can be while wearing ostentatious striped socks.

Cuz’ aero is everything, shuckin’ and jivin’ beneath the burly barked barricade, after initiating some questionable interference tactics. photo: Jake Hill (man enough to wear a pink helmet, see up above)

This weekend was also the kickoff for The Patrick Cup International, a shady collective of deep rooted hessians steeped in the art of having raucous fun at all costs. The tiny tertiary tired transports are prepared for battle, the competitors chosen and the treacherous toppled timber trajectory is revealed.

This is exactly the AAAARRGGG that Scott Atkins used to devastate the Master’s 45+ races earlier in the day. Nicest dude ever but he will crush you on a bike.

Chunky style….The Tree Amigos, The unbeatable Father/Son Legg duo and Mr. Patrick himself, after a tough day on the beech.


video blatantly stolen from the exclusive and reclusive Patrick Cup International media vault.

Future Patrick Elite Racer… Steez.

PTAO WFO* pedal their ass off, wide frickin’ open

The schedule of mayhem is:

Event One at War/Stanley Saturday Sept 23 Big Wheel Something after last race
Event Two at Hailes Saturday Oct 14 My Private Idaho after last race
Event Three at Spooky Sunday Oct 28 Roman Style Chariot Race after last race
Event Four at War/Stanley Saturday Nov 18 Speedy Challenge after last race
Event Five at War/Brooksville Sat, Dec 18 Downhill Eliminator after last race
Event Six at SwampCross Sunday, Jan 8 Race of Champions after last race

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